Just found this

Was going through my gmail unstaring emails from long ago, and came across this thing i had written and felt inspired to share..

Jeanie Mayo came and spoke at church a couple of months ago, she asked one of the guys to come up on stage and hold her glass of water, then she bumped him and the water spilt all over the stage. She kept talking, and then bumped him again, the water spilt. She did this one more time and then asked him why the water was spilling. He turned around and said it was because this beautiful woman kept bumping him, (crawler) we all laughed until she said no, it was because there was water in the glass to begin with. Interesting thought.

See the reason that I would get angry at things that were happening was because there was anger inside of me. Do you get what I mean? If I was at peace and at rest, then it would have been fine. Like they said at leadership, we are a tube of toothpaste, squeeze us and what is inside comes out. You can't blame the person doing the squeezing if you don't like the flavour. (did they say that at leadership, or did I just make that up??)

But it is an interesting thought hey? What if I couldn't blame my circumstance for how I was feeling, what if I really was responsible for all my actions. Like really. How often do we just blame everything on the circumstances, how often do we get angry at the person who is making us mad, rather than dealing with the anger that is on the inside?

This whole theory is so much bigger than just anger, it counts for everything. Joy, fear, aggression, love, compassion, jealousy. What if we all stopped for a moment and took on some accountability for how we were reacting to things. I'm thinking it would make a bit of a big difference.

Anyway, this is my plan. I am going to work on having more love and compassion inside, so that when i get squeezed, I give out something that will do good for the world, and for me, and for the people around me. Sounds a little go-save-the-world-ish to me, but then, if we're not trying to save the world, what are we doing here really? Wow, in trying to lighten this whole thing up i think i just made it a whole lot deeper.. thinking i am going to leave it at that. :-)